A fellow named Syd Field has published a few books on how to write screenplays. Apparently he is quite the industry expert, and I am reading one of his books now. It's just for laughs. I have no plans to get into the movie business.
If I did, however, I would have to keep in mind that good movies--and, therefore, good screenplays--feature a protagonist and/or central character who attempts, during the story, to move toward some sort of goal. Usually, there is some other character (who might or might not be human) who, for whatever reason, works against him or her. This antagonist might be a villain, or a storm, or (for all I know) gravity. I mention gravity mostly because I notice it works against me most of the time. Relentlessly.
If we assume, for the sake of argument, a character trying to build a Passagemaker dinghy (what better movie could possibly be produced), I think I have figured out who (what) the antagonist is. Let's call him Spot.
Spot is a shiny little round stubborn determined spiteful insidious bastard of a dot of cured epoxy.
He's there to remind you that you're not finished, or that you did something wrong earlier, and that you're a hopeless neophyte who never should have been allowed near a boat kit. And, like the antagonist our imaginary screenplay MUST employ, he never gives up.
Go ahead it might say. Try to sand me out of existence. Try to dull my amazing sheen. [laughs maniacally].
Of course when our hero tries to do that--to sand the spot dull--in hopes that one day varnish or paint might faithfully adhere to the hull--the spot remains even when all the epoxy around it has long been sanded off.
Which means our hero (I am, with apologies to Joe vs the Volcano's screenwriter, my own best hope for a hero) will have to apply more epoxy, and let it cure, and sand again -- this time, somehow eradicating Spot without removing all the other epoxy.
But how can that work? Spot has claimed his little spot, and when the random orbital sander resumes its task of tuning shiny into dull, it still won't get Spot. Why is this? I'm not sure. I think Spot is inhabits a tiny divot, crevice, pothole, whatever. It's lower than the surrounding wood surface. So the sanding disc passes over Spot. And if we sand deep enough to reach Spot, we end up removing all the surrounding epoxy.
Somewhere toward the end of our story, our hero will have to figure out how to rough Spot up without destroying everything around him. A tiny piece of sandpaper, attached to a toothpick? Maybe just some strong language (check that -- I've already tried it and it doesn't work).
One thing is certain: we're not going to have a good Hollywood ending without an answer. And, according to Syd Field, we are not allowed a deus ex machina ending such as "it was all a dream." Oh dear.
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